Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Hedge Fund by any other name.

Today I received an email from a Balkan-based broker. Apparently they wrote some research that mentioned a hedge fund in the UK as the buyer of a stock in the local market.

The fund, let us just call them "Assmore" (which is amazingly similar to the real name).

So Assmore writes to the broker and makes them put out a correction because they do not want to be known as a hedge fund.

I wrote to the broker and said, "They just wanted to yell at you because they are dickheads".

I also included a small guide for hedgefunds:

Assmore has all qualities of a hedgefund because
  1. They have lots of money. [Someone else's money.]
  2. They have lots of leverage that gears them up to incredibly, mind bogglingly high monetary amounts that could wreak havoc and destruction of a few financial markets when they screw up.
  3. They have lots of ego [Arrogance, rudeness, stupidity, need for compliments] - on the part of the 23 year old dealers who think they are God's gift to the financial market. [Note, it is always wise to note their names and see where they are in 10 years time - so you can laugh at their misery]
  4. Their trading is based on : 10% research, 80% insider information, 10% mistake [by confusing the order of buy for a sell. ] And if you don't give them the insider information they think you are useless.
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