Tuesday, April 12, 2005

The Netscape Life Expectancy Test

I came across one of those 'tests' on a netscape homepage today. Ocassionally I take the tests out of boredom (like the IQ test which, for some weird reason I scored 145; is that good?)

Well this test was called the "Lifeline Calculator" with the catchy phrase under the name "How Long Will You Live?" (sounds like a futuristic game show designed by Paul Verhoeven involving trap doors and huge flames. Imaging Bob Barker shouting "how LONG with you LIVE?" with melodic emphasis).

Anyway, I scored 73.

73!??

So I chose "Play Again". And then I changed things for which you could say that I actually have a choice. Not like the level of education, or the desk job vs manual labor or the question about how many grandparents lived over 80 (one of the four; gulp).

However, instead of smoking under a pack of ciggies a day I chose none (well, really I have much wiggle room there since I smoke about a pack a week).

Instead of no exercise a week I chose 2 to 3 times a week.

Instead of being uhappy (stress from not making money like I shoudl have at my ripe old age), I chose happy.

Shazam! I earned 12 years! 85 sounds much, much better. I'll have that one, thanks.

Ok, ok, like the IQ test, I must have done something wrong. And whose to say that suddenly changing my exercise pattern and dropping cigs altogether will change suddenly my life expectancy after all the damage caused by being a smoking couch potato?

But I love the way that its presented: after you get the 73 answer, you are offered the chance to "Play Again". Do we get that chance after we croak? Will there be some angel-like entity handing out wild cards in heaven (or hell?).

And anyway, why is Netscape allowed to play God?

For the complete test and more detailed manual version.

Guess who is going running tomorrow.

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